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Koelnjeck
#1 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 22-11-2012 07:21
User Avatar




Beiträge: 855
Registriert seit: 16.06.10


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Frau Meyer beim Ohrenarzt. ,,Herr Doktor, in letzter Zeit höre ich so schlecht."


Der Arzt:,, Da gibt es eine neue Methode, ich setze ihnen links einen Wurm ins Ohr und er kommt nach 20 Sekunden aus den anderen Ohr wieder heraus.


Dann können sie wieder tadellos hören."


Gesagt getan. Er setzt den Wurm ans linke Ohr, der kommt nach 20 Sekunden am anderen Ohr wieder heraus.
Und Frau Meyer, wie gehts ihnen?


Super Herr Doktor, ich höre wieder einwandfrei. Nächste Woche komm ich mit meinem Mann vorbei, der hört auch kaum noch etwas.
Kurz darauf sitzt Frau Meyer mit ihren Gatten beim Doktor. Er Untersucht ihn kurz und setzt ihm einen Wurm ans Ohr.


Schwupps, der Wurm verschwindet im Ohr, kommt aber nicht am anderen wieder heraus.


Merkwürdig, denkt der Arzt und setzt noch einem Wurm an und schwupps wieder verschwindet er und kommt wieder nicht am anderen Ohr heraus.
Sehr Komisch, denkt der Arzt, da mach ich mal ein Röntgenbild. Nach 10 Minuten kommt er grinsend mit dem Röntgenbild ins Behandlungszimmer.


„Frau Meyer, Ihr Mann hört nicht nur schlecht, er hat auch einen Vogel."


www.gif-paradies.de/gifs/tiere/wuermer/wurm_0001.gif


Dankeschön Babs
 
www.koelnjeck.com
wuerfelchen
#2 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 11-12-2012 22:45



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Essen braucht 7 Sekunden um vom Mund in den Magen zu gelangen.
Der Oberschenkelknochen ist so hart wie Beton.
Die Länge des Penis ist drei mal so lang wie der Daumen!!!
Das Herz einer Frau schlägt schneller als das eines Mannes.
Wir beanspruchen 300 Muskeln nur um unser Gleichgewicht beim Stehen zu halten.
Die Frau hat den ganzen Text gelesen.
Der Mann starrt noch immer auf seinen Daumen!
GrinGrinGrin

www.123gif.de/gifs/haende/hand-0014.gif

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#3 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 12-12-2012 09:43



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Lieber 5 vor 12, als keine nach 1. Grin

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#4 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 13-12-2012 11:22



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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"Als ich glücklich war auf Erden, wollten alle meine Freunde werden. Als ich ängstlich war in Not, waren alle ""Freunde"" tot."

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#5 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 14-12-2012 20:28



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Bye-Bye Sprüche

Ab sofort kannst Du alleine mit Deiner Quietscheente baden geh'n.

Es fährt ein Zug nach nirgendwo mit Dir allein als Passagier!

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#6 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 15-12-2012 10:36



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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"Weißt Du eigentlich wo das Paradies ist?

Genau da wo Du nicht bist!

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#7 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 16-12-2012 09:12



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Es gibt kein schlechtes Wetter.

Es gibt nur falsche Kleidung.

Das sag ich mir auch jedes Mal nach einem Sonnenbrand!


www.123gif.de/gifs/planeten/planeten-0292.gif

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#8 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 17-12-2012 09:05



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Hast du schon mal ne Portion Pommes durch den Wald rennen sehen? Nicht?

Ha, jetzt siehste mal, wie schnell die sind!
Grin

www.123gif.de/gifs/essen/essen-0003.gif

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#9 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 20-12-2012 08:53



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Der liebe Gott versprach uns Männern tolle Frauen an jeder Ecke.

Und dann machte er die Welt rund. Grin


www.123gif.de/gifs/symbole/symbole-0476.gif

Bearbeitet von wuerfelchen am 20-12-2012 08:55
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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#10 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 21-12-2012 08:56



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Was tun wenn die Uhr stehen bleibt?

Einfach weitergehen.

www.123gif.de/gifs/uhren/uhren-0044.gif

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#11 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 22-12-2012 08:23



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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"Die Sache hat doch einen Haken", sagte der Fisch, als er an der Angel hing.Grin

www.123gif.de/gifs/angeln/angeln-0099.gif

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#12 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 25-12-2012 12:29



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Warum haben Männer einen Orgasmus

Damit sie wissen, wann der SEX vorbei ist!Grin

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#13 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 26-12-2012 14:14



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Du suchst eine gute Liebhaberin?

Frag nach der Frau, die alle anderen Frauen hassen. Grin

D. H. Lawrence (1885-1930) engl. Schriftsteller

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#14 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 27-12-2012 09:48



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Mitbestimmung

Die Geschäftsführung bestimmt, und wir machen mit!

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#15 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 28-12-2012 18:16



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Was haben Männer und Gebrauchtwagen gemeinsam?

Beide sind leicht zu haben, billig und unzuverlässig.
Grin

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#16 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 29-12-2012 08:00



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Streite Dich nicht mit einem Idioten.

Er zieht Dich zuerst auf sein Niveau herunter und schlägt Dich dann mit Erfahrung!

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#17 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 31-12-2012 09:05



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Warum arbeiten so viele Männer auch am Wochenende?

Damit man sie montags nicht wieder anlernen muß. Grin


www.gif-paradies.de/gifs/menschen-laender/arbeitend/arbeitend_0018.gif

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#18 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 01-01-2013 10:56



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Der "stinkende" Chef

Die Toilette einer Büroetage :

Zwei Männer stehen an den Pinkelbecken. Plötzlich tönt aus einer der Kabinen ein Handy klingeln, gefolgt von hektischem Gekrame und leisem Fluchen.
Dann sagt eine Männerstimme leise:"Hallo Schatz, du ich kann grad nicht. Bin gerade auf dem Weg zum Chef, und der ist stinkig."
Grin


www.123gif.de/gifs/wc/wc-0004.gif

Bearbeitet von wuerfelchen am 01-01-2013 10:58
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Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#19 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 02-01-2013 08:56



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Schwere Bergetappe

Vater, Mutter und ein etwa 10-jähriger Junge bei einer sommerlichen Radtour. Eine kleine Straße, die steil bergauf führt. Der Vater hat seine Hand auf dem Rücken des Jungen. Die etwas rundliche Frau kämpüft miot rotem Kopf schnaufend gegen den Anstieg.

Mutter:"Meinst Du nicht, daß das für den Jungen zu steil ist?"

Vater:"Wieso, ich halte einfach meine Hand auf seinen Rücken und schiebe ein bißchen."

Mutter (scherzend):" Vielleicht hätte ich auch gern eine Hand auf dem Rücken, die mich ein bißchen schiebt."

Vater (todernst):"Und wer lenkt dann mwein Rad?!" Grin



www.gif-paradies.de/gifs/fortbewegung/fahrraeder/fahrrad_0034.gif www.123gif.de/gifs/radsport/radsport-0003.gif www.123gif.de/gifs/radsport/radsport-0015.gif

Bearbeitet von wuerfelchen am 02-01-2013 09:00
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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
wuerfelchen
#20 Beitrag drucken
Geschrieben am 03-01-2013 19:17



Beiträge: 9071
Registriert seit: 23.07.11


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22

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Keinen vom Pferd erzählt

Ein Mann ruft aufgeregt bei einer Bekannten an:

Er:" Mein Gott, Süße, alles klar bei Dir?"

Sie:" Ja, alles super. Wieso?"

Er:" Ich habe bei Facebook gelesen, Daß Du beim eiten vom Pferd gestürzt bist."

Sie:" Höh? Das war doch gestern."

Er:" Ach, echt? Hast Du gar nicht erzählt."

Sie:" Doch, bei Facebook."

Er:" Ach, nu ja, wer liest das schon?"


www.gif-paradies.de/gifs/menschen-laender/arbeitend/arbeitend_0069.gif

Bearbeitet von wuerfelchen am 03-01-2013 19:25
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w00a88db/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20

Immer wenn Du meinst es geht nicht mehr, kommt irgendwo ein Lichtlein her!Smile
 
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